Wow! Posts have been sparse this summer! I suppose there are times when other things take precedence over blogging. This summer has been one of those times for me. Not because anything spectacularly great or tragic has happened around here, but because life just needs to be lived sometimes, without thinking about capturing it in words and pictures. And it has felt good.
But do you know what? When I'm away from this little spot, I miss the creative side of blogging. I miss seeking the perfect moment or scene to snap up, which when photographed, speaks an entire silent story. And I miss the deep thoughts that come as I sit and ponder the events of my days, and look for the beauty and principles surrounding or stirring them. I learn about myself when I write. I learn about life, love, and people. And when I don't write, I feel a void...like I'm not seeing all there is to see around me, or learning all there is to learn from my experiences. I hope to keep making time to fill this blog with what I see and feel and understand in this little life I'm living. I see more, love more, and feel more as I put it all into words and pictures. Thank you, friends, for sharing it with me!
So, where did we leave off?
Oh, that awful x-ray picture. I know y'all are ready to see a new photo at the top of this blog, huh? (Um...can you tell I've spent a little time in the south since my last post? What I meant was
you all. Yes, much better on my grammar-happy ears.)
To put an end to the
one-of-those-weeks we were having, I took my wise friend
Jenny's advice and gave the kids a big project (thanks Jenny dear, and thank
you all, for all the wonderful comments and advice!). It turned out that hard work was just the thing we all needed! The project? We dug a fire pit in the backyard. Dad was out of town, so the boys did all the tough digging. And they did great! They worked together, with the help (or well-meant hindrance, perhaps) of the little girls, and the rough week seemed to dissolve into oblivion (thank heavens!). We finished within a couple of hours, and then had friends over for roasted bison hot dogs, s'mores, and night games. We still admire our masterpiece every time we look out the back windows. We're so excited for this new and exciting place to gather as a family on chilly fall evenings!
And because of
the week, and the project, I remembered just how great family work can be for family relationships. In fact, it drew me back to one of my favorite articles about family work, which I read years and years ago, and have gone back to so many times since, is by By Kathleen Slaugh Bahr and Cheri A. Loveless. You can read it
here. And please, please do! It is excellent!
Here is an excerpt:
My father and mother read us stories about their parents and grandparents, and it was clear that both my father and mother had worked hard as children. Working hard was what families did, what they always had done. Their work was "family work," the everyday, ordinary, hands-on labor of sustaining life that cannot be ignored--feeding one another, clothing one another, cleaning and beautifying ourselves and our surroundings. It included caring for the sick and tending to the tasks of daily life for those who could not do it for themselves. It was through this shared work that we showed our love and respect for each other--and work was also the way we learned to love and respect each other.
I love that definition of family work. I really believe it, too. Through shared work we show our love and respect for each other, and
learn to love and respect each other. Even when it's easier to sweep my own floors than teaching a child to do so. Or when I can't keep track of how many times I've had to remind a 10-year old to finish washing the dishes...
all of them. Or when the dish-washer and floor-sweeper argue the entire span of their chore time (and the broom
may have to be confiscated for being used as a weapon...
maybe). And
even when we have chickens and cats and goats (and their smelly mess) coming out our ears, so that our kids can experience the character-building benefit of "real work." I can honestly say that it is all worth it, to gain that mutual love and respect.
We all know that the results of kids' work are not always equal to those of the work of much more experienced and capable adults (can't you see all those crumbs
still spread out under the table??!!). And that getting kids to join in working is sometimes worse than pulling teeth. But with the trade-offs and all (spotless house and immaculate yard vs. kids with character, right?!), working together has truly blessed our family.
Another favorite quote from the above article:
How does ordinary, family-centered work like feeding, clothing, and nurturing a family--work that often seems endless and mundane--actually bless our lives? The answer is so obvious in common experience that it has become obscure: Family work links people. On a daily basis, the tasks we do to stay alive provide us with endless opportunities to recognize and fill the needs of others. Family work is a call to enact love, and it is a call that is universal. Throughout history, in every culture, whether in poverty or prosperity, there has been the ever-present need to shelter, clothe, feed, and care for each other.
Working together has taught us to love and respect each other in real ways. Hannah recognizes and appreciates how I have nurtured her, as she bathes, dresses, and tucks in little girls at night. She admires big brothers as they teach her how to care for the animals or scramble eggs. Brothers thank each other for taking over an assigned chore while the other is away at scout camp, or is too tired to walk out to the barn one night. And Mom and Dad feel grateful when everyone pitches in to keep things in order around here. And all of those priceless moments dancing to some good tunes or singing together while working side-by-side? Awesome. Or the great conversations that happen while little hands are busily engaged in a task, alongside bigger and wiser hands? So powerful. This work has truly linked us together.
I think this new fire pit will always remind me of the great power of family work. When I look out on it, it will speak back to me of the importance of steadfastness and diligence in teaching my family to work together. It will remind me that those tough weeks
will come, but that as we work together as a family, our relationships will become ever stronger, tying us together in mission and purpose. And as we gather around the fire together, I hope we will feel the strength and comfort of that love and warmth we have created through living and working
together
as a family.
s'mores, anyone?
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