hens a-layin'

Happy, happy April everyone!!

Hope you had a beautiful weekend.

We spent ours gathered around the television, watching General Conference...something we look forward to every six months.

It was wonderful and I feel inspired to be a better person.

I can't believe spring is here!

After a long winter hiatus, our hens have decided to start laying eggs again.  Hooray!!

We love fresh eggs!  In fact, we just don't eat a lot of eggs when we can't get the fresh kind...the storebought variety pales in comparison to the fresh, bright-yellow-yoked, fetched-from-the-coop kind.  We're so thankful for our little feathered friends in the springtime, and for the excellent source of nutrition they give us.  And we're thankful that beautiful spring has arrived...like all of nature at this time of year, it is such a productive time for these backyard mama hens of ours! 

The girls are the self-designated egg collectors.

They love going out to the coop and hunting around for the colored eggs...

...kinda' like Easter every day!

(They also like showing off...notice Eliza's boot flying across the yard when she saw me pull out the camera...?!)

Then, the washing and sorting.

And counting, of course.

The boys want to know when we'll have enough eggs to start selling them for money.

I tell them: when we have more than we can eat.

So far, no surplus...

...just lots of omelets, poached eggs with toast, crepes, puffed dutch pancakes, muffins, and good 'ol scrambled eggs for any meal of the day.

And just in time...I'm finally getting over the long bout of morning sickness I've had all winter. Spring is looking more productive for this mama hen too!!  :)

Cleo

Grandma Cleo (Brandon's sweet 98 year-old grandmother) passed away a few weeks ago in his parents' home in South Carolina.  Brandon was there.  In fact, at the very moment of her passing, he was in the next room, offering a blessing on the family meal, and pleading with the Lord to allow her to rest, if it was to be her time to go.  It was her time.  And she passed peacefully, with her family gathered around her.

A few months previously, Brandon and his two brothers had planned a boys' weekend.  They were all to fly in and play in a volleyball tournament, golf, and spend time together with their family (Dad, Mom, sister, plus extended family) back home.  Cleo, being cared for full-time by Brandon's parents in their home, had been fading fast.  Nobody expected her to make it until that upcoming boys' weekend.  But her dear son asked her to wait, and she held on.  She had stopped eating and drinking, but still she held on.

She had been unresponsive for a few days, but when Brandon (first to arrive) stood by her side, she woke up and spoke to him.  She asked how he was, and how the kids and I were doing.  She was lucid, and happy to see him.  She told him that she had been to Heaven and back.  She lingered here in mortality, so that she could be with her entire family one last time.  The other grandsons flew in, the family spent a wonderful weekend with her, and then she passed away.

I hopped on a flight the next day, to go be with the family and attend the funeral.  It was amazing.  We gathered in a beautiful old church downtown...the Methodist church Cleo had attended most of her life.  As I looked around at her friends and family, I pondered the influence of one person upon so many others.  I looked into the faces of Cleo's old friends, her sons, her grandchildren, and her great-grandchildren.  So many people there together, because of her.  So many people brought into existence through her.  So many people built on her goodness and character...the principles she taught and lived playing an important role in the forming of who they had become.  Her great legacy will live on through generations to come.

Funerals seem to be made for pondering and reflection.  Seeing her cold, lifeless little body tucked into the billowy white satin lining of that elegant coffin.  Touching her cold, manicured hands.  Noticing a stillness of body that seemed unreal and foreign.  Knowing that she wasn't occupying that space in existence any longer.  That she was in a different place.  And wondering.  About the great beyond.  About where she really was then, what she was doing in that earthly moment, as I gazed at her former now-empty mortal residence.

When set to pondering such weighty and eternal matters, the tendency to question arises.  To question the meaning of mortality and eternity.  To question what one really believes to be true about life and death.

Questions came to me in my pondering, that day in the beautiful old chapel.  And answers came as well.  I felt the soft stirrings in my soul, sent from a higher realm.  The Heavenly feelings of peace and assurance, given by a merciful God who loves his children through this mortal experience.  A God who has answers and will give them when we ask.  And who answers quietly, privately, speaking softly to our innermost souls.

Life is miraculous.  Death is equally so.  The bringing of life into this world, and the taking of life from it, is the work of God.  I know it as I know my own hands.  I have felt it so powerfully, that I can't deny it.            

18  I will not leave you comfortless:  I will come to you.

19  Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more;  but ye see me;  because I live, ye shall live also.

25  These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you.

26  But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

27  Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you;  not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

--John 14

July 2010

Easter skirts

We had a lovely Easter weekend!  We celebrated as a family and enjoyed the beautiful spirit of the day, as we talked about our Savior and his great love for us.  We watched a touching film made by the LDS Church, called To This End Was I Born.  It's on youtube in three parts here, here, and here.  Watch it if you haven't...so well done!  I felt moved and loved and grateful.

I was planning on making each of the boys a tie, but didn't get to it...bummer!  And these layered ruffle skirts for the girls had been collecting dust in my project basket...half done a few years ago, and needing to be finished.  I love how they turned out...some of my favorite fabric ever!  And it only took an hour or so to finish all three...perfect!

I'll post a tutorial soon...I've made a few like these, and they're so so simple and fun!

Meahwhile,
I'm trying to finish my dress for Women's Conference this week,
getting ready for mom-in-law, sister-in-law, and neice to arrive this afternoon,
cleaning,
washing sheets,
quizzing math facts,
and cooking soup.

Hope you had a wonderful Easter weekend!

sunny

We enjoyed a warm, sunny day yesterday! 

And we're expecting today to be the hottest day of the year so far...hooray!!

We're off to a doctor appointment, then to run a couple of errands, 

and then to meet some friends at the city park to soak up this beautiful spring weather!

Hannah put this shirt on yesterday, and it looked so sunny and perfectly spring.

I made it last summer.

 It actually started out as a shirt for me, but it turned out a bit snug in the shoulders.  So I took it in and added some fun trim detail, then gave it to Hannah.  I think it looks darling on her!

All three girls are in need of some summer play clothes...

I need to carve out a little time to sew up some cute things...soon!

And look!  I just saw my photo on MADE's "you made it" post today!

Thanks for the awesome tutorials and your beautiful, inspiring blog, Dana!

Have a great weekend!

We'll be watching General Conference and spending time with old friends.

And maybe we'll squeeze in some yardwork...maybe.

with a little help

...from the weather, I should be finished with the majority of our spring home organization today.  Hooray!!

We'll have a quick devotional and chemistry lesson this morning, and then set to cleaning.  

The kids will pick up and then mop the wood floors (on hands and knees, of course...the best kind of hard work!), dust everything, wash windows, scrub the toilets, and clean their rooms.  I'll scrub down the kitchen and finish moving stuff into the new office and organizing it just right.

Then, individual study/reading while I take Sam to the doctor.  The boys have a Temple trip with friends this afternoon, and the Mr. and I will go on a Temple date tonight, with dessert at our house afterward.  The little girls will spend the afternoon outside, in the beautiful sunshine, while I finish up inside.  We have had such beautiful weather...

Tomorrow, the boys and I will spend the day in Salt Lake at the TJEd Forum.  We're so excited to learn and be inspired by so many great people!

And then I'll come home to a clean, organized house...lovely!

Happy weekend to you all!  Our thoughts and prayers are with the people struck by the tragedy in Japan.  And we're feeling so very grateful for the life we enjoy.  

 

I took these photos last week before the snow melted.

The cats are still napping on the back porch.

I'd like to join them. 

love

Happy February!

Could it really be possible that January is OVER?

I'm afraid my calendar cannot tell a lie...

February it is.

January flew by, and I didn't quite accomplish all of the projects and organizing that I had begun.  So, I'll keep plugging away...

But I love February!  The month of LOVE.  And since love is in the air, I really try to ponder on and strengthen my relationships this time of the year.  I've been listening to parenting and education seminar MP3's (while painting the basement, of course), and I'm really excited to do better this year.

Speaking of LOVE...

I found this drawing on Romney's sketch pad several months ago.  I wandered into his room one day, and there it was, sitting on his desk.  I cried.  I felt so full of love for this sweet boy.  He didn't tear out the picture to be given to me and then hung for all to see.  He just drew what he felt, then left his notebook in its place, without the need of showing or explaining it to anyone else.  That's just Romney's way.  He chooses to be noble and humble.  Not because he is told to be good, but because he wants to be great.  

He is our peacemaker and my right hand man...always giving and helping and thinking about the feelings of others before his own.  He's such a hard worker...waking up early every day to read and practice his cello.  

I stood and looked at the picture he'd drawn, and wondered why God made me the mother of someone who is so much better than I am.  He teaches me so much.  About selflessness.  About charity.  About humility.  I think his image accurately reflects our relationship...walking along, hand in hand, learning together, in this journey that is life.

This darling boy turned 12 in November, and with the bustle of the holidays, his birthday never made it onto the blog.  So here's a recap:  

He spent a weekend with Dad in New York, like Taylor did for his 12th.

     

They went to the Susquehanna River, to see the site where the Priesthood of God was restored to the earth.  A moving and special experience for a boy who is about to receive that same priesthood by the laying on of hands.

They went to see Wicked...we love it!

 And of course, they visited THE museum.

This boy reminds me every day that life is good.  Thanks for being you, Romney!  

Hannah's baptism

My darling Hannah was baptized on Saturday.  We had a wonderful day celebrating this special ordinance with such a beautiful girl.

What a powerful thing...to be eight years old and make a covenant with God that you will live a righteous life and follow His commandments.  I was baptized when I was eight years old (many, many, many years ago...) and I remember how that special day impacted my young life...how I looked back on that promise, and tried so hard to keep it.  I was just old enough to have faith and know that I wanted to be a good person and try to do the will of God, but still young enough to be pure and hopeful.  That day set me on a path that has brought so many blessings and so much goodness to every part of my life.  And I hope Hannah's day means as much for her.  She is so excited to learn about the Savior and work hard to be more like Him every day.  What a blessing the Gospel of Jesus Christ is to our family.

more tests

Sam resting on the couch and feeling blue, after an IV for dye injection and a loooong MRI last week.  He actually didn't mind the MRI, because of the cool movie glasses he got to wear and watch.  The IV, however, he didn't like so much.    

Me trying to cheer him up.

The beautiful rainbow I saw outside the hospital window, while praying for positive results to his tests that day.  It gave me a measure of peace, during this cloudy time of trial.

Sam's MRI showed an abnormality in the bone in his sacrum (lower back), as well as some fluid build-up at the base of his spine.  It is presumed to be some sort of infection, but more information is needed in order to know how to treat it.

This morning, we're headed up to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake for more tests.  Sam will be sedated while the doctors take bone and fluid samples from his back for biopsy, as well as draw blood for various lab tests.

He is being so brave, and willing to go through with these difficult procedures...even though the thought of it is flat-out scary.  He sometimes asks us why this has to happen to him, and not someone else.  We have long talks about the polishing of rough stones and the forming of diamonds out of coal.  He understands that doing hard things makes us stretch and grow and become better than we were before.  It is through life's trials that we are polished into the great and noble beings that God wants us to be.

I love the title of the book written by Richard Lyman Bushman about the Prophet Joseph Smith (as well as the content, which I'm currently reading): Rough Stone Rolling.  Joseph, who sacrificed so very much in order to do God's will, referred to himself as a rough stone rolling down a hill.  He said, "I am a rough stone.  The sound of the hammer and chisel was never heard on me nor never will be.  I desire the learning and wisdom of heaven alone."

I am a rough stone.  I, too, desire the learning and wisdom of heaven.  For myself...and for sweet Samuel.  God is chipping away at our rough edges through this trial, turning our raw souls to Him for guidance and comfort.  May we learn what heaven wants to teach us.

Onward we roll...

A Taste of "Zion"

We had a wonderful experience we had on Saturday.  We felt such a such a tangible power, sitting up in the choir loft inside the beautiful Conference Center.  Thank you all for your sweet comments!  What a blessing this was for our family.

As we sang the song, "Beautiful Zion, Built Above," I felt that this Conference Choir was a taste of the Zion that is to come...that "beautiful city of our God."  We worked hard together, as families, and as a choir.  We made sacrifices to rehearse long hours.  For weeks and weeks, we worked to refine every note and chord and vowel.  We felt an amazing respect and love for one another, and for our leaders and conductor.  We watched as these assigned leaders spent countless hours organizing and polishing out every detail.  They were selfless and humble.  We all pressed forward with one purpose and one heart.  And the Lord blessed us in our efforts, and in every aspect of our lives.

When we stood together and sang on Saturday, the powerful feelings of godliness and virtue filled that loft.  There we were...in the presence of the prophet of the Lord and His apostles, worshipping together.  We felt the Spirit of God as we sang praises to Him.

Beautiful heav'n where all is light.
Beautiful angels clothed in white.
Beautiful strains that never tire.
Beautiful harps through all the choir.
There shall I join the chorus sweet.
Worshipping at my Savior's feet.

We truly worshipped at the Savior's feet, through the heavenly music and this celestial experience.  And what we felt that day was worth any hardship in preparing for those moments.

Thus is discipleship in mortality.  At times, difficult and full of sacrifice.  The kind of sacrifice that refines us and prepares us to become a part of that Zion, built above.  And oh, how sweet it will be when we, at last, shall worship at the Savior's feet in that beautiful place of rest.  It will be worth it.

Conference Choir

Happy October!

I LOVE FALL!  And one of my favorite things about fall is that we kick it off with the amazing Semi-Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I love to gather with my family and listen to the inspired words of great men and women, who are called of God to teach His Gospel.

This year, our Conference experience will be different than any other.  Our family has been called to sing in a family choir during the Saturday afternoon session.  We have rehearsed for two hours almost every Sunday night.  We have worked hard to memorize LOTS of words and music.  And tomorrow's the big day!

The music is beautiful and inspiring...written specifically for this session of Conference.
Our director is amazing.  Wow.
And this experience?  Priceless.
We hope to bring joy and peace to all those who hear us...and bear testimony of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Look for us here tomorrow!

I'm married to the best man I know

Last week was a very ordinary one.  But I want to tell you what my Brandon does in an ordinary week.  Because he is flat out amazing.  And inspiring.  Have a (long) look:

*Flew his mom and sister in from South Carolina, took time off work to pick them up at the airport, drove them to his darling daughter's dance lesson to observe and cheer her on, and took them out to dinner.
*Ran the Salt Lake Marathon with an injured knee, crossing the finish line with his sweet sister.
*Took mom, wife, and sister out to lunch after the marathon.
*Reported to the Church at 7am to attend hours and hours of Sunday meetings.  Visited some families to see if they needed anything.
*Attended 3 hours of Church worship services.  Met with individuals to discuss their personal affairs, give counsel, and inspire.
*Gathered the family for a Sunday evening spiritual message.  Listened to tiresome repetitions of Primary songs, solos, speeches, scripture recitations, and incomprehensible toddler ramblings, with patience and a smile.
*Bore a moving testimony of the living Christ and His gospel to his children.
*Worked like mad all week at the office.
*Met with his Church leaders on a Wednesday night for a long interview, then stopped on the way home to visit a friend in need.
*Went to a Patrick Henry Caucus meeting with his wife at a friend's house to hear Carl Wimmer speak.  Inspiring!
*Packed for a scout camp-out with his son.  Camp-out canceled due to rain, so he took son to dinner and a movie instead.
*Attended the County Convention and represented our precinct as a county delegate.  Caucused, listened to lots of speeches, and voted.
*Spent his very few "spare" Saturday hours working on a business plan for the non-profit organization of a friend.
*Attended Stake Priesthood Meeting.  Took wife out to dinner, and then to the adult session of Stake Conference.  Then sat through endured The Young Victoria with for his wife.
*Attended a two-hour Stake Conference, keeping Sarah entertained for it's duration.
*Took a walk with the family in the sunny, spring air.
*Fixed a drawer, fed the goats and chickens (and kids), swept the floor, folded laundry, disciplined children, read stories, conducted daily family scripture study, sang bedtime songs, and listened to the complaining of a long-winded wife and the quarreling of little ones.

All this he did gracefully and without as much as a murmur about the sacrifices made.
(and c'mon, you're murmuring at the mere length of this post!  A trifle!)  


For 13 years I have watched him
work
and play
and learn
and lead
and worship
and mentor
and counsel
and love.

I have watched him give and serve and give some more, until there was nothing left to give.

I have seen him fail.  And hating failure, get back up and relentlessly try again and again, until he met with success.

I have seen him exhausted under life's often heavy burdens, only to reach deep inside and find what it takes to do more and to be more.

I have felt his unconditional love, and watched his compassion heal and inspire.

And in quiet moments, I find him on his knees
pondering,
pleading,
thanking,
worshipping,
communing.

Then...
I understand how he does it all.

He is not alone.  He knows the source of true power and greatness.  And he seeks it's company night and day.
His humility brings him to the Lord.
He knows that without God, he is nothing.
And that with Him, all things are possible.

(How is it that I so often forget this?)


Last Sunday, I had the privilege of leading a choir of 12 and 13 year-old boys, as they stood in a neat row at the front of the chapel, with white shirts and ties, singing:

I need thee every hour,
Most gracious Lord.
No tender voice like thine
Can peace afford.
I need thee, oh I need thee,
Every hour I need thee.
Oh bless me now my Savior,
I come to thee.

Their sweet faces glowed with the purity of youth.  It was touching.  I looked into the eyes of my own Taylor and Romney, right at the center of the group, so noble and good.

As they grow, I hope they will remember those simple but powerful lines.  Words of supplication and humility.  Words that make boys into great men of God.

Great men like their dad.

(both photos taken by Jami, Fall 2009)

New Year's Principle #3: seek and follow the will of God

Sunsets have always reminded me of God's power and majesty...this one was taken from the back porch in the fall.

Isn't it breathtaking?

For the Ward Choir number on Sunday, we sang the moving hymn "Lead, Kindly Light."  As we gathered together in front of the congregation, I stood wondering for a moment why my little Sarah, carried up and peeking out of the tenor section in Brandon's arms, was holding two mismatched kinds of 'sparkle shoes,' several sizes larger than her tiny toddler feet.  Apparently, she didn't want the morning of sisterly Cinderella make-believe to end with the onset of Sunday worship...you know, the magic wears off when we drop our glass slipper...silly princess.  Despite that small moment of distraction for the mommy choir director, and that extra little member and her shoes, the choir sang beautifully.

I've always loved the humility of these powerful lyrics:

Lead kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom; lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home; lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet;  I do not ask to see
The distant scene--one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that thou shouldst lead me on.
I love to choose and see my path; but now, lead thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and spite of fears,
Pride ruled my will.  Remember not past years.

So long thy pow'r hath blest me, sure it still will lead me on
O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till the night is gone.
And with the morn those angel faces smile,
Which I have loved long since, and lost a while!

--John Henry Newman, 1801-1890
(LDS Hymn #97)

Thinking and praying for those in Haiti.
Remembering that God is in charge.
Gearing up for a new year (I  know, it's already upon us and in full swing...but still setting goals and making plans over here).

This week, these words remind me that it is never too late to repent...to change my life and myself.  That's what the Atonement of Jesus Christ is all about.  Becoming better with His help.  And I'm feeling needful of that help as I lay out who I want to become and examine who I am today...and see such blatant discrepancies.  This hymn cheers me and gives me faith.

My 3rd New Year's Principle to live by is this:

Seek and follow the will of God.  

I want to worship Him better.  I want to pray to Him more fervently.  I want to really find out what He wants me to do this year.  I want to study His word in the scriptures daily.  I want to love Him more and give more gratitude for the abundant blessings He has given me.  I'm determined to spend more time in His Holy House (that magnificent Temple on the mountain...seen out my front windows).  I want to fill my home and heart with His Spirit...to feel His peace and love and comfort.  To repent.  To be a better disciple.

I will seek for that 'kindly light' that surely leads those who will ask and follow.

New Year's Principle #1: new eyes

My dear cousin gave me a Mary Engelbreit greeting card at my wedding thirteen years ago.  And I loved it.  I kept it, and framed it, and it has hung on my wall for many, many years now.

It reads:

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.  

--Marcel Proust

Framed in red, it now sits on a shelf in my basement craft studio.  I found another identical piece at a thrift store, on a black wooden plaque, which hangs on my kitchen wall.  The charming sketch and beautiful phrase remind me to look around myself and find beauty in my everyday surroundings.  And I've realized over the years that it is one of the things that makes me happy.

Finding beauty in the ordinary.

Yet in this adventure that is motherhood, I stop to breathe and often find my head hanging low, nose to the grindstone, with eyes relentlessly focused both on the workload before me and the seemingly distant finish-line (aka bedtime).  And every now and then, in one of these burdensome moments, I'll catch a glimpse of the card, lovingly staring back at me from the wall like an old friend eager to give me comfort and advice.  And my perception of that moment changes.  And I'm cheered and empowered.

I remember going to the eye-doctor a few years ago.  All my life, I thought I could see just fine.  But when I put on the new lenses prescribed to me, I was in complete disbelief.  I could hardly take in the beauty of the tall trees with sharp, crisp green leaves touching the clear blue sky.  The definition and clarity of the objects around me were incredible.  And all along, I hadn't even realized that I had been 'blind' to much of what was right before my eyes.  I didn't know there was a better way to see.  Having figurative 'new eyes' is much the same.  It changes how we view the world around us, and in turn, changes us inside.

This year, I'm determined to have new eyes.  I want to find beauty and excitement and joy in the daily routines and rhythms of my life as mother, wife, and homemaker.  I have often felt the exhilaration of discovery within my home.  To observe carefully the ordinary scenes of family life and find something wonderful is truly inspiring.  It's a way to catch glimpses of the divine in that which surrounds us every day, and to recognize God's hand in our daily lives.  I'm going to keep these rosy lenses handy and find more joy in the everyday, the common, and the mundane.

Now, I'm not implying that the beauty is always easy to spot.  Because that's just not true.  Especially living with young children who are home (and making messes) all day.  Sometimes the stress from aesthetic chaos overpowers the beauty or goodness of the moment.  So it takes some discipline and real paradigm shifting to see through the mess.

Nor am I saying forget the mess and just do what's fun and beautiful and good...trust me, I've tried this, and unfortunately it's not so good over long periods of time.  Nobody likes a stinky fridge or sticky counters every day.  The mess won't go away (like I often wish it would...darn!).  But it will wait.  It can be there all around you and you can still feel those peaceful, happy feelings when you are catching the beauty of home life.  Homes are meant to be lived in...with lots of activity, dirt, and messes.  I have to consciously try, every day, to remember that relationships and the self-worth and independence of my little ones are more important than constant worry and nagging over the inevitable (and even healthy) filth in the house.  I've retired from being the shiny-floor-shoe-nazi, and welcomed trails of muddy little footprints through the house, reminding myself all the while that they can easily be wiped up.  With family chore systems in place and good home organization (ahem...another of my New Year's goals...), the mess won't get out of control (usually), so enjoy the moment, and then tidy up together, right?!

I was in the middle of cleaning up a messy kitchen and picking up the house the other day, when I saw these little piggies peeping out from the back of the dining chair, while their owner was munching on a snack at the table.  I stopped to capture this moment with my camera, and thought all day about how these little feet are growing up, and will soon fill big-girl shoes (sniff-sniff).  I appreciated this sweet girl so much more that day and found joy in cleaning up after her cute (disaster-prone) little self.

I want to take time to stare into this darling little face, and remember it's mouth over-stuffed with food, those twinkling brown eyes, a boo-boo and crumbs on the chin, and that cute turned-up nose (booger and all).  Oh, and don't forget that neck-chub (what's left of it, anyway...it's almost lost to big-girlhood).

And these legs belong to my cute Eliza...check out her footwear this morning!  So fashionable.  Definitely worth taking a minute to notice (and photograph)!

**Now, off to go and tackle the mess in my house.  We're up to some re-arranging of bedrooms and organizing and lots of other projects around here.  I think I'll need those new eyes...wish me luck!

Oh Christmas Tree

Faithfully trimming the tree the day after Thanksgiving:

Now enjoying it's magic:

If only I could be like this tree.

I want to boldly emanate light and peace.  I want to bring joy to the season.  I want to quietly send out a message of goodness and love...the message of the Savior of the world.  I want my children to gather around me, like they gather around this magical tree, to find love and comfort.

But...

I also want to sew eight sets of Christmas pajamas with slippers, three Christmas dresses (plus matching doll dresses, of course), a few plush toys and dolls, some boy gifts, and more.

I want to finish knitting the eight woolen hats I've begun.

I want to whip up some holiday garland and other handmade decorations for the house.

I want to do lots of December service projects and festive sight-seeing,

and I want to take time at home to read classic Christmas books by the fire and study the scriptural accounts of the birth of the Savior with the children.

Oh, and I want a clean kitchen and floors, empty laundry baskets, delicious meals, and self-taught-and-entertained children.

Add in basketball season's start, dance classes, homeschool co-op classes and clubs, holiday parties, choir concerts, play performances by the kids,.........

and suddenly the idea of spreading holiday cheer becomes more like a feat the caliber of climbing Mount Everest.  And it doesn't feel festive or cheerful at our house at all when Santa's go-to elf Mom is completely overwhelmed and acts more like the Grinch, stealing the goodness right out of our holiday (which has been the general feeling at times already this month).

So, for me, this year...

the tree that stands so still and wonderful

will be my reminder and inspiration.

I will take time when I walk past it, to reflect and ponder, even for a moment, the real meaning of Christmas.  I will picture in my mind's eye (even while my body is running from one end of the house to another for kidly emergencies, which rarely wane) that blissful first Christmas.  I will feel the sweet peace which filled that meager stable, as wise men and shepherds gathered 'round in humble adoration.

I will breathe in the tenderness of these moments with our blessed tree, and then move through the day, using my time wisely and spending my energy on that which matters most.  And what matters most to me is that my family feels that same peace I have described, every day of the season, in our home.  That they may know with a surety as they grow, that a Savior was born in Bethlehem.  That he lives today and loves them.  That with him, nothing is impossible.

I guess this means that I must chisel down my wish(-to-get-done-)list a bit...

**Pardon me, as I go now to take a glance at the tree and a big deep breath, and then run upstairs to clean up the "gift" Sarah just left me, sans diaper, on her bedroom floor...wish me luck...

How do you balance the craziness with the cheer during the holidays?  Do tell.